First things 1st ..Volume i
Why are People so Afraid of Human nature ?
P.S. I don't know everything related to sex, I am NOT a sex professional. I am just speaking from my own
Let's talk about it ...
You know for the longest time I was unaware of what exactly the true reality of sex was. What to expect, how exactly I should react, along with how to perform. Was I over-thinking it all ? I mean for the longest PornHub (American Porno Site) was always the main source of sexual encounters & anything I thought I knew about sex. Until you grow up realizing that most men and women create false scenarios & realities of what sex is based off of these sites. Amongst other media outlets. . . These male infused versions of what women should be, and how they should perform in the bedroom. In addition to women viewing these videos while generating a disconnected sense of what intimacy represents. Last but not least, this false reality of how both genders should look & execute intimacy.
With media outlets like movies, music videos, porn sites etc. It becomes a more inward reflection that then gives birth to a modified version of the truth. I don't understand, but our media world pushes these false realities. Because you know sex sells and fantasies create a fake façade to make us feel more content within our own realities. Building an unconscious rapport of disconnected sexual experiences. Making us form a new reality of what we feel we deserve and what we officially choose to expect. This is the new reality. This is the new perception. How can we start changing our view point? When are we going to start anticipating respect above all else? Regardless of strings attached or no strings attached. Well we can start by focusing on thyself, first ! As well as, researching the different components of the sex world. Like what is the difference between Sex & Intimacy ? From the anatomy, to sex topics, to STDs, to all the fun stuff in-between. It's a whole world filled with fantasy, bliss, and sometimes scares. However, let's talk about value first.
RETRO - REALIZATIONS
For so long I was constantly moving forward without thinking about the consequences. Allowing what I call a "Sex Demon" to take control of my body. From my understanding, most people get possessed by their sex demons too lmaoo!
Sex Demon: The inner hormonal fire that sparks and ignites the moment you watch, spot, or see a potential interest. Or even experience an out of this world sexual encounter. Fucking vigorously .. Almost animal like.. lol
The more detached mentally the better lawd. Might just fuck up a few times if I'm not paying attention. I'll get possessed and only hope that fuck was worth it! But then, I had a eureka moment of why exactly there were so many failed encounters with the opposite sex. I wanted love but only attracted hounds because I didn't realize my sex appeal was so dominating, yet the only form of attraction I felt men would be attracted to. Since my intelligence didn't seem to work. I started attracting them with my sex appeal because after watching movies, being around guys, and watching porn I felt like that is what would attract a "man" into my life. However, I was sadly mistaken. *20,000 FAILS LATER* (SpongeBob reference) I gave my soul each time to attract attention because I felt like what I saw from society was just that. People love to give out praise to those who like attention, and who are sex symbols. They get idolized & so I thought.. okay I needed attention to get what I want. The 20s are meant for soul searching & major fuck ups lmaoo ! Let's continue *clears throat*
Validation became a slow growing tumor. For both my mental & emotional sanity. I was attracting them with my body instead of my heart. I wanted a relationship and I completely submerged that because I felt like what I was asking for was taboo. I felt like I could only get what I want, if I let them be in control. However, over time I have learned that most men and women don't even know what they want! This entire time I have been letting MEN STEER MY SHIP and they don't even give not one fuck about me! So I thought to myself... Why am I healing these men who only give me the bare minimum? Why do I care so much when I don't even receive respect from these individuals? Why do I even allow myself to lose energy over men who don't even see my value? But also... Do I even see my value? Food for thought of course. Why have I been accepting their demons, the bare minimum, and this false reality of affection? But when did attention become equivalent to affection? Let's talk about it ...